Heaven and Hell

While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator (that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St.. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator..

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really? I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven..."

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...

 Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

 The devil smiles at him and says,
"Yesterday we were campaigning,
Today, you voted.."


h/t Thanks to Judy

Bad ass, awesome life form

Source; http://cheezburger.com/6728830720?siteId=4046

Treehugger Approved

I remember in high school discussing the mystery of how trees managed to get water up into the leaves.  Nobody could ever tell me and I eventually forgot about the question.  This is a worthy video to watch if you have any interest in trees or science or really hot, scantily clad women.

Zombification

You knew that this would happen right?

Facebook Status

Uninstalling Obama......... █████████████▒▒▒ 90% complete

Love it!

Slow motion light

How cool is this?

Ramesh Raskar created a camera which records 1 trillion frames a second and slowed down the playback so you can actually SEE light as it travels through a bottle filled with water.  You can see around walls.  This is awesome science.



"Coca Cola did not sponsor this video!"

Mitt Romney

With a tiny face!

I'm voting for the Romney/Ryan ticket.  Obama is now making Carter look competent.  This is a great country, and we deserve better than Obama.  All that guy can do is attack and blame others.  The ad with Joe Soptic blaming Romney for his wife's death was a new low.

Saw this in regards to Mr. Soptic trying to blame Mittens for his wife's death.

Get over it already...

Barack Hussein Obama

Yep...

Source

Joe the Biden

This guy is the Vice President of the United States.

And people hated Dick Cheney...

Move along, nothing to see here, Part 65,537

Watching CSPAN in the background, some guy from thinkprogress.org is talking about how egregious bad bad men are suppressing the vote because they are succeeding in getting Voter ID laws passed.

He is just all over how stupid this is, how much it makes no sense and it's wrong to require ID to vote.

His name is Legume.

A peanut is a legume.  Does this mean that he is nuts?

From Wikipedia:
A legume /ˈlɛɡʲuːm/ in botanical writing is a plant in the family Fabaceae (or Leguminosae), or a fruit of these specific plants. A legume fruit is a simple dry fruit that develops from a simple carpel and usually dehisces (opens along a seam) on two sides. A common name for this type of fruit is a pod, although the term "pod" is also applied to a few other fruit types, such as vanilla and radish. Well-known legumes include alfalfa, clover, peas, beans, lentils, lupins, mesquite, carob, soy, and peanuts.

Pleated Jeans

This is hilarious. 

Source; Pleated Jeans

Face it... you need therapy

Not long ago, I had the occasion to visit the facebork.

A "friend" decided to post something regarding nothing being as uplifting as a good Led Zeppelin tune.  Something good had happened in their life and I was really fond of this person.  So commenting of the frivolous nature occurred.

I equated "gas" with another uplifting idea.
This lead to another Zeppelin related post.
I digressed to the most famous Zeppelin, in a humorous way the only way possible being the meme of Huge Manatee. 

If you're not familiar with the Huge Manatee meme, as is my former friend on facebork, no doubt:

"OH THE HUGE MANATEE! is based off of a comment by Herbert Morrison during the crash of the Hindenburg, which became an idiom ‘used in a satirical way to ridicule, diminish and trivialize emotional displays the speaker deems overly sentimental.’ Much later, after the internets was invented, an image of the crash was digitized, and later photoshopped to replace the blimp of doom with an aquatic mammal, the manatee, and provided a humorous caption. Thus, the huge manatee was born, and placed on t-shirts everywhere. It’s even spawned it’s own game."

A notable aspect of this meme is that it is of of the few that are nicely photoshopped.
‘Oh, the Humanity!’ -- Oops, Wrong Disaster – The New York Times

Well, this person proceeded to unfriend me.  Complete with some parting thoughts about what a horrible person I am and how I shouldn't be thinking about stalking them.

Whaaaa?

Someone needs a therapist methinks.  I'd be lying if I said that it didn't bother me to be turned on like this (in a public forum no less) when I was just merrily being funny (so I thought).

See, sometimes people (that posses a sense of humor) will use what is known as "reductio ad absurdum" to inject humor.  You see, use of something ridiculous, like "I'm a monkey's uncle" will strike some people (that also posses a sense of humor) as humorous.  It's well documented.  If you're not a stupid redneck.* 

But I guess some folks look at everything with a jaundiced eye, seeing peril or attack in innocent things.  There's a description for that I think.  Oh yeah, paranoia!

Good luck to you, former Facebork friend.  Even though you don't understand, I wish you only the best, happy life you can have.

* See what I did there?  (Cue card, LAUGHTER)

Fast and Furious

Rest in Peace Jack Kerr

Found out today my father in law passed away. He was a great man. Although my ex and I haven't exactly had a pleasant divorce, I hope that the pain of his loss turns to fond memories soon. I really wish he knew how much I admired him.

Innovative new dog torture technique

Quantum field locking results in levitating cold thingy

Flux pinning is the phenomenon that magnetic flux lines do not move (become trapped, or "pinned") in spite of the Lorentz force acting on them inside a current-carrying Type II superconductor. The phenomenon cannot occur in Type I superconductors, since these cannot be penetrated by magnetic fields (Meissner–Ochsenfeld effect). Flux pinning is only possible when there are defects in the crystalline structure of the superconductor (usually resulting from grain boundaries or impurities). The natural magnetic waves that bend around and pin the superconductor in mid space also break into millions of ultra-thin lines and each one carries a flux quantum caused from the superconductor being so sensitive to magnetic waves.
Source Wikipedia, where else...

This is what happens when you mess with Marriage between One Man and One Woman

This is a completely serious post.  Do not take it lightly.

Perhaps you've seen the music video "Call me maybe" by Carly Rae Jepson.  If not, it's below.  Catchy tune.  Watch until the end for the surprise and humorous twist.






Well, here's what happens when you take meddling with nature to the logical conclusion.  I'm not sure that there is anything that can be done to undo the damage.

Rest In Peace Bob Welch

Bob was a Fleetwood Mac guitarist and had a few hits of his own.  Great musician, beautiful music.  He committed suicide at his home in Nashville.  This is so very sad.



You are here and warm 
But I could look away and you'd be gone  
'Cause we live in a time  
When meaning falls in splinters from our lives  
And that's why I've traveled far 
'Cause I come so together where you are
 
And all of the things that I said that I wanted  
Come rushing by in my head when I'm with you  
14 joys and a will to be merry  
And all of the things that they say are very
Sentimental gentle wind  
Blowing through my life again 
Sentimental lady Gentle one
 
Now you are here today  
But easily you might just go away  
'Cause we live in a time  
When paintings have no color, words don't rhyme  
And that's why I've traveled far  
'Cause I come so together where you are
 
And all of the things that I said that I wanted  
Come rushing by in my head when I'm with you  
14 joys and a will to be merry  
All of the things that we say are very   
Sentimental gentle wind  
Blowing through my life again  
Sentimental lady Gentle one
 
You are here and warm 
But I could look away and you'd be gone 
'Cause we live in a time  
When meaning falls in splinters from our lives  
And that's why I've traveled far 
'Cause I come so together where you are
 
Yes and all of the things that I said that I wanted  
Come rushing by in my head when I'm with you  
14 joys and a will to be merry  
All of the things that they say are very
Sentimental gentle wind  
Blowing through my life again  
Sentimental lady Gentle one
 
Sentimental gentle wind 
Blowing through my life again 
Sentimental lady Gentle one

Things that make you go "Awwwwww"

My Brother Bothers Bees

Dramatic Hawk

Is dramatic...

Really dramatic~ ht Pleated Jeans

And now, another important PSA from Get Stewed

As if staying diligent against the impending zombie apocalypse wasn't enough...










ht Troglopundit via Ol Broad

Good Luck

I have this habit.  When I find a penny in a parking lot, I pick it up if it's heads up. Probably you do the same thing.  It's a lucky penny when it is heads up right?

Well, when I see that a penny isn't heads up, I turn it heads up and then leave it there.  Somebody will hopefully find the penny and get a little good luck.

Next time you see a penny, try it.  You'll be surprised at how good you'll feel giving a stranger some good luck.

Disappointing

Vet your legislation.  It's your job.

Could not resist

What could top Famous Movies (with cats)?

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you one of the oddest things ever to appear on teh interwebs...

Famous Movies

(with cats...)



I give it:

Workplace Safety

It's a cellphone, no a tablet, no it's a... DESSERT TOPPING!

With apologies to SNL.  So I found this cool thing which is really pretty neat as gadgets go.  It's the Asus Padfone.  This is an awesome concept.  Your cellphone becomes a tablet by inserting it into the tablet and closing a door.  The CPU and GPU on the phone drive the tablet.  You get all the features of any normal tablet plus, if you need to add a stand and keyboard (ala laptop configuration) all you do is attach that tablet to the dock for the laptop.  So everything is contained in the phone.  How freaking cool is that?!!  Check the video:

LA News Event of the day

Apparently there is a rash of Chinese people in Los Angeles suffering from Koro.  Koro is the fear that your genitalia will shrink or recede into your body cavity.  And now, I have no more words to say.

Memeface to the rescue

So this morning I'm enjoying breffast out.  Nothing like getting a tasty treat with bacon piled high to start off the weekend frivolity.

Princess Sweet P didn't want to brave the arctic blast so I'm getting a togo order.  Which means I have time to cool my heels and enjoy KFI.

"Gem of the day.  Guy is walking across the street in an apparent attempt to ingratiate himself to plumbers everywhere.  By this I mean that he's dropped his trousers to knee level or thereabouts.  Cops see guy shuffling along and note that his shuffle is rather, extreme shall we say.  They stop to say hi and then proceed to discover...

... the 13" TV he stuffed into his britches."

I only wish I could make this stuff up.  I actually had to call Paulina and interrupt her Princess-ey slumber to tell her about this.  We're both cracking up envisioning this and it occurs to me that I can probably use memeface to better illustrate this rather than pictures of stuff that I happen to find.  So from now on, when/if I update this blog, I'll be including the appropriate memeface.

City of Angels

Winter Trees

Spent a good bit of time on the left coast recently (actually I think I've been there more than in Atlanta this year).  We're doing some good things that are geographically agnostic so why not go there when it's cold?  Right, I couldn't come up with anything either.

There's a radio station there, KFI 640 AM which is chock full of hilarity of the Jerry Springer variety.  It seems like every single day there is a new crazy person being crazy.  So far in the last couple of weeks we've seen:

-Guy goes into house, starts shooting everyone, robs house, cops show up, guy sets fire to house, guy exits house, sees cops goes BACK INSIDE, fire department shows up and basically watch the house burn up.  Because there's a guy shooting everybody that was stupid enough to go back into the burning house...

-Pedophile starts snapping pictures of kids in his neighborhood (there's been a rash of teachers recently getting caught with kids thanks to the LA Unified School District Unions... go figure.), gets reported, cops called, he freaks out, they arrest him, check his computer find pics of kids and kiddy porn, and all kinds of disgusting stuff.  Gets his bail lowered, takes off to Mexico.  The populace is PISSED.

-Just tonight a gum chewing crazy did an OJ minus the low speed chase part and got himself shot at a gas station.

This is exactly like a train wreck that you can't stop watching.