So this morning my ex-wife texted me, "Zoe died last night!"
What do I say to the woman who cheated on me, refused the marriage counselors recommended treatment, took my dog and my house and my life and basically fucked me as thoroughly as she possibly could and then took Zoe from me without once offering to let me see her? Nothing. I'll focus on the good things in life. I've forgiven my ex and I hope nothing but good things for her. She needs it because she has a lot of problems. Good luck to you Jen and I'm better off without you.
There's a special place for Zoe in my heart. She was my ex's dog (Christmas present after Snoopy died) but she was crazy in love with me. And I with her. It was terrible how my relationship with my ex ended and it wasn't my decision to be estranged from Zoe. I hope she had a good life because she was a very sweet baby and she loved being with me.
My most vivid memory of being with Zoe was one summer afternoon. They were building a subdivision behind our house and had cleared a ton of land that was covered with the most beautiful grass. I walked up a hill and sat while Chloe and Riggs wandered around. Zoe followed me and sat right beside me and I could just feel the love from her. She didn't want to be anywhere else but sitting right there beside me. Honestly, I felt slightly guilty with her there (I wasn't prepared to accept good things in my life at that time) but she didn't care. She just sat there with me for about a half hour. I finally gave her a one arm hug and she wiggled down the hill to sniff. That's all she wanted.
I found a poem that I think conveys my feelings:
This is reprinted under Fair Use and I will reprint the entire poem once I receive permission. If I don't receive permission, there is a cold black heart behind it (and I'm not talking about my ex wife's cold black heart)...
Poem by Virginia Ellis
Oh, little friend, do you recall,
When you made my house your home?
You loved those walks we used to take,
You never left my side;
And if I got my car keys out,
You were ready for a ride.
You sensed when I was happy,
Or was feeling kind of low;
You'd rub up against my knee,
You always seemed to know.
You'd fetch a ball or get a toy,
Without even being told;
But, was your face crestfallen,
If I felt the need to scold.
You found the outside world exciting,
Do you remember your first snow?
You'd not come back inside the house,
Because you loved it so.
You were afraid of lightening, too,
And of booming thunderstorms;
You'd run and jump upon my bed,
Where it was safe and warm.
I never once felt lonely,
As long as you were here;
You were at my feet or on my lap,
You constantly were near.
You're going back to heaven now,
From whence long ago you came;
You'll be welcomed back by God, Himself,
Who knows your doggy-name.
I think there's Frisbees up in heaven,
And rubber, squeaky toys;
And angels who will play with you,
And little girls and boys.
But, there won't be any thunderstorms,
And no vets with shots up there;
You won't even need a leash,
You'll run freely in God's air.
And when my time on earth is done,
And at heaven's gate I'm near,
I don't want any harps or horns,
Just ... happy barks to hear.
So, see you later, little friend,
I'm glad you're now pain-free;
And I'm glad you're sitting next to Jesus,
Now ... you wait right there for me.